Here Goes Everything.....

Ok, ya’ll, here it is.  It’s a new year, which means I am sure many of you made resolutions or updated your bucket lists or whatever.  I am not going to bore you guys on our first date by writing any of that crap down, but the fact is that I happen to be turning *gasp* 40 this year, and there are a handful of things I need to have done before then.  Let’s talk about that, ok?

 

 I won’t bore you by discussing any fitness, relationship, or financial goals….BUT I will tell you that my main goal this year is to turn this blog into the most popular ‘non-genre’ blog on the internet, have a collection of my blog highlights published, become totally famous for the fantastic sound bites I come up with as I make rounds of the talk show circuit, co-write the screenplay based on my book, cast myself in a tiny role in said movie (the role would consist of an old lady falling asleep in a library, which then segues into a dream sequence where the old lady makes out with Ryan Gosling in a hot tub, Wes Welker on the beach, and then Matt Damon on top of the Empire State Building, then wakes up and makes out with Christian Bale in the library before walking out the door and getting hit by a bus ), and then retire to a villa on the coast in Amalfi.

This is SO me!

Totally realistic, ya’ll, and its gonna happen.

In all seriousness, 2015 is going to be the year I focus on my writing.  Over the years I have built up a ridiculously hyooooge store of short stories, one novel (it’s a pretty cheesy wannabe Marian Keyes/Helen Fielding/Jennifer Weiner chick-lit chunk of fluff) that has some good pieces in it, and a horror flick screenplay.  This year, I am going to submit my pieces to anyone and everyone I think will publish them, I will work on getting an agent, and I will sell that crazy screenplay – and split the profits with my friend Jen, since we came up for the idea for the damn thing together while arguing over the fastest way to get to Harvey’s Comedy Club.

This is where you come in, friends and haters…this blog is my way of keeping me honest.  Dorothy Parker, who is my favorite female in all of history once said, “Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat”.  And it’s true, totally true.  You have to show up to write. Every. Single. Day.  I am going to show up here every day for the first 30 days, then probably every other day or maybe twice a day thereafter—who knows?  It’s my blog and I’ll post when I want to!

 

So many of my FB friends have asked why I don’t write a book—working on it---why I don’t have a newspaper column---too lazy grammatically--- or why I don’t have my show---working on that, too, ha-ha!

So, here it is.  THIS is where you are going to get your daily dose of Mary’s Madness (hmmmm that would be a good name for this blog, no?).  THIS is where I will – hopefully- make you laugh til you cry, cry along with me and maybe even puke in your mouth a bit. 

There are lots of ways you can contribute to my fame and fortune, kids.  Comment on this blog; let me know what you think.  Share this blog with your friends…you probably have one or two friends in your own circle that would ‘get’ me, be able to relate to the trials and tribulations of being Roo’s mom, and possibly even laugh a bit as I careen my way through a life that has slowly but inexorably gone completely off the rails in the last 6 months.  The reward is a) constant exposure to the ongoing chaos that seems to follow me around, and b) I won’t charge you rent when you come stay with me at Casa Peppe---heck, I will even cook for you when you come to visit.

Casa Peppe

That is pretty much all I have to say to you guys this morning…..this is my blog, I hope you like it---well, I hope you love it--- I hope that you guys continue to follow me over here from Facebook every day, and I hope that I entertain you far more than I entertain myself, otherwise this is going to be like one looooong root canal---except for the sex talk and the Snickers.  Cheers!