Day 7 - 30 Day Challenge

Your Opinion on Cheating on People

My opinion on cheating on people is that it sucks balls....Seriously.

Couldn't have said it better myself...Now read on as I try.

 I don't think people are monogamous by nature, but that is really no excuse for cheating.  If that seems like ill logic, sit down, shut up, and let me explain.

Seriously, I find it silly to say that is natural for people to be monogamous.  I know, I know, swans, and gibbons, and even some species of worms mate for life, so it's totally natural and totally makes sense.  Ummmmm....yeah, whatever.  Look, I respect people who choose to get married, have children, and build a whole life together and forsake all others and keep only unto each other.  I have mad respect for that, and for people who choose to live their lives that way.  My opinion on that matter, though, is that it is a choice, and not necessarily the natural order of things.  

However, if you choose to be in a relationship with someone, unless it is a clearly defined open relationship, then you are effectively giving that person the key to your heart, and your zipper; which means you keep that shit locked up, or get out of the relationship.  It's that simple.

This is not rocket science.  It's not even science, I pretty sure it is common fucking sense.  AND good manners.

 Have I ever cheated on someone?  Sadly, yes.  Two different boyfriends, actually.  The first time it happened, I was 23, and really just dumb about things in general.  We talked it over, he was heartbroken, and it ruined our relationship.  This relationship wasn't ever going to end up in marriage, and he definitely wasn't the one, but it still sucked.  I ruined our friendship, which was pretty important to me before we dated, and I actually felt a great deal of shame.  Soul-scorching, self-loathing shame.  If you haven't been there (yay! you aren't an a*hole!!  pat yourself on the back!), you can't know, but I am here to tell you it feels really bad.  The look on his face when I told him, and the look on his face during the two or three fights we had in the weeks following was not a look I would ever want to put on anyone's face again.  As I have told ya'll before, I am really good at staying friends with my exes, because I tend to date pretty rad people, and they are usually people I am cool with before the relationship.  Obviously I am not friends with this one anymore, and that is my loss; he is charming, a brilliant artist, and a lot of fun---and a total stranger to me now.

The other person....well, I never told him.  Nor did I feel bad about it.  Not friends, either.  And I am totally okay with all of those things.  Fuck that dude.  Right in the ear.

Universal Truth.

 I don't know if I have ever been cheated on....it's possible the Bantam cheated on me (I call him that because he was loud, short, and a total cock....see what I did there?), there is nothing that I would put past him, but I would not even feel the slightest bit of.....well, anything, if 50 chicks came up to me tomorrow and said he cheated on me the whole time we were together.  Wouldn't matter a bit.  I did have one of my all time favorite BFs dump me so he could date someone younger, hotter, thinner, and blonder  than I, and that felt awful.  But, being single meant I had a lot of time to tan, go to the gym, and drink bottle after bottle of Absolut Mandarin vodka instead of consuming food.  30 days later I was super thin, super hot (hard to believe, but I have photos!), and shopping all the time with someone younger, hotter, more buff, and slightly dumber than him---so it all worked out fine.  Post Script, the ex-BF came crawling back after about 5 weeks...proposing and shit!-- but that's a tale for another blog! 

I have been the other woman a couple of times as well.....once unknowingly.  I mean, really, am I supposed to ask every hot dude that wants to take me to the mall if he is married??  I mean, clearly, the absence of a ring speaks volumes, right?  Wrong.  Ooops.  My bad.  And, no, I didn't tell his wife or anything like that, I just told him that it would be more gentlemanly to tell people that before they get to the cash register and let them evaluate the sitch and make an informed decision before he whipped out his, er....awwww, shit, these shopping metaphors are getting to me!!  Motherfuckers:  IF you are married and you want to knock boots with someone that you are not married to, don't lie--tell people you are married and let them make their own decision, don't say, "Let's jump in the shower together.  But you go first, cause I gotta call my wife and tell her I won't be home until tomorrow. "  Totally. Not. Cool, man.  

The other 2 times I was the other woman....I knew.  But, in my defense

.......................................................................................................................................................................

Actually, there really is no defense for that is there?   I don't really think so.  I could sit here and justify and rationalize, but there isn't any way to do that with any honesty.  It's a shitty thing to do.  My justification was this,

"Well, he is clearly a cheater, but at least I am not going to try to get him to leave his girlfriend.  If he wasn't cheating with me, he would be cheating anyway, and would probably end up with some dumb ho that would text his girlfriend, or stalk him, or follow him home and cause trouble and boil rabbits and shit like that.  Technically, I am doing her a favor, because I am not trying to keep this two-timer."   

Can you even believe that shit?  It was really hard to write this, but it's harder for me to picture the people I love, reading about some of the crap I have pulled in the past... 

Sums it up nicely....

  

 So, yeah....like I said at the beginning, cheating sucks balls.  And cheaters, well they just suck.

And some of us simply have to live with that.

 TOO EFFING DEPRESSING, YA'LL!!!  I cannot end my blog like this; I am all down in the dumps.  So, here are 3 things I am leaving you with so I don't walk away from this totally depressed, and you don't walk away from this wanting to kick my ass:

 1.  I like this.

My thoughts exactly!

2. My brilliant buddy Veronica over at Grown Up Tantrums actually wrote a blog about cheating yesterday, and I thought it was very insightful.  Go check it out!

3.  All that shit I said about people not being monogamous is totally how I feel.  Except when it's this guy:

 

Call me a gibbon, I would be monogamous as all get out with this one!!

Cheers!