Day 4 - 30 Day Blog Challenge

What You Wear To Bed

Really???  This is the topic.....  Ugh.

Another quote from the inimitable Dorothy Parker

Seriously, this is the kind of topic that makes my mind go as blank as Keanu Reeves' face in...oh, every movie he has ever been in.


Seriously, I feel like I am expected to come up with something interesting or titillating or controversial.  And I got NOTHIN'!!


Look, the fact is that I used to sleep naked.  I prefer to sleep naked.  And, no, not sexxxy naked like this:

The words that inspired a million wanker fantasies.....

Just naked.  It is WAAAAAY more comfortable than sleeping in clothes, you don't have to do as much laundry, and it just feels good.  However, having children who don't believe in privacy, who feel that you are merely an extension of them and, as such, are on call 24-7, and who invade your sleeping space sorta puts the damper on that.

So, I wear random stuff, based on the weather.  Boxers and tanks in the summer, flannel PJ pants and tanks or T's in the winter.  Exciting stuff here, right?  It's kinda funny, though....as I was thinking about this post, I realized that 'what you wear to bed' can only be interesting under 2 circumstances:

Circumstance 1:  Married/Dating/Otherwise Partnered Up.
The assumption here is that you would wear stuff to bed that would solicit a hoped-for outcome, such as:

Nobody wears this kinda stuff in bed!  ON bed, on floor, on dresser, against the wall, yes...IN BED? Chuh!  Keep dreamin', fellas!

But nobody sleeps in this stuff, right?  Lace is scratchy, rubber/leather sweaty, and THAT ^^^  looks dangerous!  Like you would cut off circulation to your ladies and wake up with, like, a nipple on the pillow or something....ew!  I would not be averse to wearing something like that on the way to bed, but IN bed?  Nope.  Not a chance.  Unless your name is Ryan Gosling.  So there!


Circumstance 2:  Tragic Spinster/Old Maid.
The assumption here is that you would wear stuff to bed that would prevent you from having any idea what gender you are, and maybe keep the fact that your boobs are at your waistline from anyone unfortunate enough to run into you en deshabille:

That's me in the yellow!

You see, at this point in your life, I would assume that you just want to cover that shit up, lest you catch sight of your wrinkly, drooping ass, or see that your dirtypillows are, in fact, dirtytubesocks....But that's just me.  Unfortunately, anything that features a turtleneck, zip-in-floor, and can be used as a floatation device in the event of a water landing does not say 'comfort' to me, so I will put this look off for as long as possible.


The fact of the matter is that, at this point in my life, I dress for comfort.  AND for the least constricting thing I can find.  Partially because of being chubby, but also because I am a restless sleeper, and really don't like waking up to find the things I am sleeping in have ridden, bunched, or otherwise migrated to areas designed to cause me maximum discomfort.  Also, I am more likely than not going to wake up to something like this:

Roo, Hef, Leia, and Rosey usually pull this crap about 1 or 7 times per week!  COZY!

Clearly, scraps of lace, straps of rubber, and clothing resembling a Haz-Mat suit are not appropriate....

This blog is a bit of a short one, as the subject matter seemed somewhat inane and banal, but now you know even more about me that you probably wish you hadn't.  All I can say is that you can blame the people at the Ultimate 30 Day Blog Challenge for it, and I will try to do better next time!!


Oh, yeah, can't let a blog go by without the RG fix, so here is what I wish I could wear to bed every day for the rest of my life......comfy!!!

What are these PJ's made out of?  BOYFRIEND MATERIAL!

And she lived Happily Ever After.

The End.