Day 8 - 30 Day Challenge

Something You are Currently Worrying About

Greeeeaaaaaaaattttttttttttt.................

Give me more of a reason to worry!  Here goes:  I am worried about what to write today.  

Boom.  Done.

Right?

Seriously, though, I am one of those lame people that worry about everything.  I worry about my girls every day, I worry about my parents, I worry about the human race (because we are so dumb), I worry about my animals.  I could go on and on, but I won't....You're welcome!

Worrying is stupid, useless, and pointless.  Most of the time the things we worry about never happen, and even if they do----so what?  Did worrying about it help you cope with it in any way?  Most likely not.  So why do we do it?  

I had a very unstable childhood, which led to me being a control freak.  I figured if I had control over every aspect of my life, then nothing bad could happen to me, nothing could be taken from me, and I had contingencies for everything that could happen.  I worried and worried and planned and planned so that nothing could go wrong, and if it did, I would be ready.

So I thought.

Control is an illusion.  The only thing any of us have control over are our thoughts and our reactions to external events.  Which just makes worrying pointless.

When we worry about things, we aren't really able to look around and see what actually is happening in our lives, and we lose precious moments that may never happen again.  Or, we allow worry to cloud our judgement, and we do things out of fear rather than out of love.  I know someone that used to worry about his kids getting kidnapped, bullied, beat up, etc.  His solution was to keep the boys in the house and yard all the time.  As they grew up, they had poor social skills, were very naive about the world, and had some of the things their dad worried about happen to them because they were so weird from not being properly socialized.  I know people that worry so much about their finances, they hoard their money and don't use it in the manner money should be used -- for enjoyment and experiences.  Worrying about things keeps your brain caged in a little room, bouncing off the walls, but doesn't actually do anything proactive to address the worry.

It took a long time for me to relinquish the illusion that I could control every aspect of my life.  It took even longer to train my brain to not go into worry mode.  When you start worrying about something, the best thing to do is give yourself "if/then" scenarios...  "If" you did X, "then" how would it change Y (the sitch that's got you trippin'?)?  If the answer is 'It wouldn't", then stop worrying and move on.  Seriously.  Move. The. Fuck. On.  Eat a Snickers or something.

Every day, I worry about something, and every day I make myself stop worrying by looking at what is working in my life, and practicing gratitude.  Some days, the fact that I woke up and my girls are all alive is the only thing I can come up with.  But that's okay.  It's something.  At least it stops the worry cycle.

I also try to read uplifting shit on the internet.  I don't watch the news, because all it does is magnify the worst stories about the human race.  So I find things to be happy about; funny stories about people being brave or kind or silly, and pictures of Ryan Gosling.  For reals.

How can you look at this and not be happy???

 

Worrying does have it's place, but as a tool, not as a way of life.  What do you worry about?  Do you worry that your partner might cheat on you?  Maybe that's a sign you are with the wrong person.  Are you worried your kid is growing up spoiled and ungrateful?  Take away the X Box remote and haul that brat to a soup kitchen a couple times a month to serve food to the homeless.  Are you worried about your bills?  Maybe you should get a different/2nd job and quit spending money on crap.  Seriously, worrying endlessly about the same thing over and over just doesn't make sense.  A little bit of worry should be taken as a message from your subconscious that there might be some things you need to change.  Just don't let it become bigger than it really is...

Right now I am worried about this blog post.  I didn't follow the rules, exactly - haha!

I do worry about all kinds of random stuff, but I work hard not to dwell on it, not to let my worries blind me to what is really happening in my life -- as opposed to what could possibly happen.  I try to see if I can change or fix the things I worry about, and if I can't, I let it go and just keep blundering my way through this life without all the worrying.  Like that crazy lady in the 'do rag says, 'Ain't nobody got time for that!".

As far as I know, I only get to do this 'life' thing once; so I try to get through it without worrying, and just accept that shit happens.  But, hopefully, not in my pants.

Now go out and play, kids!

 Cheers.