Day 4 - just say Fuck Everything And Run

FEAR

I say FUCK Everything And Run...because ya'll are SCARY!

Tonight's post.

I have already posted once about things that scare me here.

I am legit afraid of those things, and I can assure you my daughter tortures me with them every chance she gets.

EXAMPLE:  Today, we went to a holiday bazaar (literally my favorite thing about the holiday season, beside ALL THE CARBS, are bazaars -- even if I don't buy anything *HA!* I love them), and every time there was a doll display, Miss Roo was, like, "Mom-mom-mom-look-over-there", and then laughed gleefully at my response.  Jerk.

However, if you were to ask me my biggest fear (besides losing a loved one, which I can't even begin to think -- or write -- about) are humans.

That probably sounds weird coming from a...well, human, but it's true.

I don't like scary movies.  I don't like giving attention or head-space to bad things.  I just don't.

Back in the day, though, I would occasionally watch one if the people I was with were interested, but once I was out of Jr High, and got over the obsessive watching of anything Freddie Krueger or "Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2" related, I was not a fan.  Nor was I a wet blanket, though.  The kids want to watch 'Scream"?  Fine, just give me a giant popcorn-- always giant + EXTRA BUTTER because FUCK clogged arteries -- and some peanut M&M's and I was ok. 


Until.....


About 15 years ago, I watched the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  It was sufficiently creepy, suspenseful, and had the proper amount of jump-scares, and I remember grabbing my BF's arm and cowering on his chest while we watched it, thinking it would end the way all horror movies end: 


Protagonist finally defeats baddie and walks off into the sunset.  Fade out.  Cue ominous music and one sliver of film, showing you the baddie may not have been vanquished (thus leaving open the possibility of a -hopefully- lucrative sequel.  Blackout. Roll credits.


This did not happen in TCM.

Totally NOT the scariest thing in TCM

Caution, if you haven't seen it and are too lazy to do a Google or plan on watching it one day, stop reading now.  Here there be spoilers.)

The plucky heroine manages to escape to what I think was a general store, or maybe a house.  A kindly old man ushers her in and agrees to help her.  He walks off screen, she grabs the phone to call the police, and BABAM!!!  She is whacked over the head by the kindly man and bundled into the truck where he, eventually returns her to the Farm Of Death she narrowly managed to escape.

The scene where he has her bundled into a cloth or a sack (or a cloth sack, I was terrified and it was long ago) and is driving her back is what made me lose my shit and stop watching the movie, swear off horror movies, and horror books, and anything that details psychopaths preying on people.

He is in his truck, driving back to the Farm Of Death, and he has a broom handle or a stick or something, and he is poking her through the cloth and laughing gleefully.

That. Right. There.

That shit happens.  It does.  There are too many places on the Internet that show that exact (okay, maybe without rando-in-human-skin-costume-at-the-farmhouse) thing happens to women all the time.

A jealous ex, a random transient serial killer, a guy who just snapped, a dude that has been killing, undetected, for years....take your pick.


People do that to each other.  Grab someone, take them away, undoubtedly mess with their heads en route to the forest, deserted field, backyard bunker, etc., and then kill them in unspeakable ways.


I can't handle that.


As someone that is currently working on preparing Females 4 & 5 for entry into society and the world, I LITERALLY cannot fathom that, and I will never watch it on screen or read about it again, as long as I live.

I touched on this last night.  I did it in the context of relationships, but it applies in general.  How can people be so terrible to each other?

I just don't get it.

I never will.

There is a part in The Hunger Games where someone mentions that maybe humans suck too much to be redeemed, and maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing if we wiped ourselves off the face of the earth and let a better species have a go (my money is on elephants, owls, and.....turtles?  I forget what CS asked me to include, but I feel like they would do better job than we have), since we clearly are not qualified to be the dominant species here.

Precisely.

If it wasn't for all of the children I love and want to watch grow up and live amazing or mediocre or magnificent or just plain normal lives, I would be totally down with that.

So, yes, this particular fear -- my fear of humans is not something I can work through, or Face Everything And Rise against.  I prefer to stuff it in the back of my consciousness and just not deal with it at all.

Which is what I am going to do in 5...4...3...2..1.

Goodnight, all!  Stay safe.

 

Also, just to end this on a good note:

You're Welcome.  Sweet Dreams!