My top three pet peeves.
Off the top of my head, I would say this:
1. The word "moist".
2. People with shit grammar....you know, the people that use "your", "you're", and "too", "to", and "two" incorrectly....NOT TO MENTION "defiantly" means resisting and "definitely" means without a doubt, you ignorant internet FUCKS!!!
3. People that hold grudges over decades.
Here is WHY, yo.
1. There is, literally NEVER a reason to say 'moist' in a sentence. A cake can be delectable and delicious. No need to call it moist. A day can be misty and foggy or humid, but 'moist' is never a good meteorological fallback. You can call a dude a wuss or a baby or a weenie-faced-mamas-boy, but DO NOT CALL HIM MOIST!! Seriously, the word should be banished from the lexicon of humanity and never uttered again.
2. Back in the early days of my online life, I was that dick that would do this, after your horrendously-spelled FB posts:
*you're
*your
*TOO
*to
Eventually, you ignorant motherfuckers wore me down to the point where I merely point and laugh and keep scrolling.
BUT I DON"T WANT TWO (see what I did there?)!!!
I want to correct every last one of your ridiculous misspellings and tell you to grab a copy of Strunk
& White and get a fucking clue!!
I don't, though.
Partially because my fat thumbs have condemned me to a lifetime of typos, and also because the tsunami of stupidity from you dumb-asses has overwhelmed me to the point that I cannot deal with it.
3. Ummmm...seriously, do I give an actual fuck about what you went through 50 years ago?? Were you in the Holocaust? Do you have a number tattooed on your arm? Did you go to sleep at night with ashes swirling around your head? Ashes that MAY have been one of your family members or friends? If the answer is no, then you need to suck it up and shut the fuck up and move on.
I can count on 2 hands the number of people I know that had a perfect, magical, Leave-It-To-Beaver childhood. So, you didn't? Okay, fine. It's not what happened to you, but what you do with it that defines you.
As a straight-up control freak that strives to control every single thing in my world, I can honestly say the ONLY THING we have control over is how we respond to what life shovels at us.
Life is burying you in shit?? Well, guess what? Manure makes the best mulch, from which the biggest flowers, the most viable vegetables, and the richest plants grow.
You went through adversity (who hasn't?), FINE. Use that shit to avoid the pitfalls, to be stronger, to help others navigate that same shit.
But for fuck's sake, quit whining. At some point, the choices you make are your own, not the ones you were forced to accept. At some point, you need to own your choices, your mistakes, and your life. At some point, your passive-aggressive posturing requires you to accept that some of your life's burdens are things YOU created with YOUR choices.
Shit, guys, I am too tired and angry right now to say more than this:
Never say moist.
Spell Check is your friend.
Own Your Shit.
Aside from the first, I don't always do that...but I can try.
And, so can you.
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