We have both missed days and then caught up, but we are still slogging through.
At the outset, we promised and predicted social media shaming and shit talking.
But, we both have lives and are doing the best we can. Which is, literally, all you can expect from anyone, EVER.
I actually thought I was 2 days behind, but realized, from checking my stats (HELLLLOOOO, Germany, you have out-paced Russia on blog reads, Tausend Dank!!) I am THREE DAYS BEHIND!!
So, here we go:
 |
| I loved them growing up...as adults - all of us - not so much! |
Day 13: A Book You Like, A Book You Don't.
Easy-peasy.
A Book I Like - To Kill A Mockingbird. Harper Lee's Magnum Opus.
Scout, Jem, Atticus, Dill, Boo, Aunt Alexandra, Uncle Jack, CALPURINA.
This book, which was pretty much required reading for the youth of America for decades is AMAZING. Beautiful, funny, heartbreaking, romantic..FAIR.
I grew up in the whitest county in California. I did not know any POC when I read it, but I had a heart and a brain and read the newspapers.
This book made me angry at the assumption that a POC was wrong simply because of the color of their skin -- be it black or Albino white.
This book made me relish my countrified childhood.
I loved Dill, that 'pocket Merlin', because my head was too full of fancy as well.
I loved that book. I still love it.
I read it every fall, because the penultimate conflicts happen in late summer and after a Halloween (Harvest) carnival.
Book I Don't - To Set A Watchman, the sequel to Harper Lee's Magnum Opus.
Or the prequel..I don't care.
It SUCKED.
It was boring.
It was awful.
And Atticus was a fucking closet racist....
I never finished it, even though I started it about 48,000 times.
I probably will never finish it, and I don't even care.
No Jem, no Cal, no Hero Atticus. Even Scout lost her flavor....gone was the girl brawling in the play yard and fighting boys,
UGH!!
I hate sequels and re-makes.
I loathe that every generation tries to re-do or re-make what came before.
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST APPRECIATE WHAT WAS BEFORE YOU AND CREATE YOUR OWN SHIT???
Dirty Dancing, Havana Nights?? Barf.
Ben Asshat as Batman -- STFU!!!
Clash of The Titans without that clockwork owl and Claymation Calibos? Go. Away.
New humans, please create your own art, movies, and music and leave the classics alone.
KThanksBye.
Day 14: Something You Struggle With.
INSOMNIA.
In.Saw.MMMM.Kneee.AHHH
About 3 out of every 7 days I wake up anywhere from 1:30-3:30 and cannot go back to sleep.
Which sucks.
BIG TIME.
Lack of sleep is a killer. Literally.
I am too tired to link any of the studies, but trust me, they are real.
I have hallucinated when I have been awake for more than 48 hours.
If I stay awake for over 24 hours, I have a remarked tendency to cry at ...oh, everything.
When I can't sleep, I look up conspiracy theories on the Internet --
did you know Stephen King killed John Lennon?? No? GTS!!
Did you know Katy Perry is actually John-Benet Ramsay (or Ramsey, too lazy to GTS)
Did you know the earth is flat or 9/11 was done by the Jews, the Russians, or the ...um whoever?? Anyone but radical goat-fucking Islamists, though....because that is TOO EASY!
Everything has a back-story that includes collusion, the Rockefeller's, the Rothschild's, and those damn lizard people that seeded the earth with humans like we plant potatoes in Idaho.
I can never drift into sleep after spiking my consciousness with this ridiculous crap.
I literally pass out 5 minutes before my alarm goes off, and then wake up in a gritty-eyed, thin-sour-sweaty-haze. It sucks.
I am never very productive at work, post-insomnia.
I am never a very good mom to my not-a-morning-person-child, post-insomnia.
I am never patient, tolerant, kind, or pleasant on the post-insomnia days.
I have TRIED.
Melatonin, Epsom-Salt baths, warm milk (haha, KIDDING, I am not a baby goat, so BARF!!), Sleepytime Tea, positive visualization, booze...nothing helps.
I sincerely hope this doesn't go on much longer, but since this has been a thing for me since I can consciously remember, I can only hope I get another fallow period (I have had multiple, lasting YEARS), where I sleep through the night, sometime soon...because the last 18 months have been kicking my ass.
And I am tired (of it).
So tired.
Day 15: Something You Are Currently Worrying About.
Easy-peasy.
Fucking Everything.
If I even began to list what worries me today, I would end up in an asylum, so I am going to try to keep this lighthearted and not at all connected to the things that actually cause me to wake up in a sweat (see above).
I worry that I know who all the dudes in One Direction are, and that I actually have a favorite.
Up until about a month ago, I only know 1 single OD song, because it was about my beloved JR (KJ), whose boyfriend would play it for her every time she showed up at one of his gigs (at least that's how I saw it).
A couple of months ago, after I realized I was an inadvertent Justin Bieber fan, I found a new jam...
It was not a Bieber song, but it was by a dude from OD and I LOVED it. I thought it was by the cute, blond one....but it wasn't. So I had to GTS and try to get them all sorted out, because I was super confused about who was singing what and I didn't have a scorecard. When I got it all sorted, I decided it was all Quavo's fault, as he sings in the Bieber song I like, and the song that is not-by-Niall-Horan-but-thought-it-was.
 |
| I know he is, like 19, but CAN YOU BLAME ME??? |
Fucking Quavo. (although, I must admit, he is the shit!)
Anyway, I fell asleep at 6 this morning, having re-set all of my alarms to 6:30 and had a very weird jumbly dream in which my sis was knocked up AGAIN (my perfect little sis, not the other one), I was eating porcelain coffee cups and spitting them on the ground, even though I had no shoes on, and eventually, wound up at a holiday bazaar in which OD showed up and I tried to take a selfie next to my 'favorite', but ended up to Harry Styles' secret lover instead (that's another conspiracy theory, BTW!).
I am 42 and have no business having a favorite (former) OD member, or even knowing their names....but I do. (barf)
I worry that somewhere, somehow, someone thought Blake Fucking Shelton is the Sexiest Man Alive.
WTF???
Blake Shelton???
That Mofo has LITERALLY sported a mullet this century.
As in...sometime AFTER 1987, sometime AFTER they stopped making Pontiac Thunderbirds, sometime AFTER it stopped being okay for dudes to wear T-shirts where they cut the sleeves off in a huge loop from waist to shoulder, that dude was 'business in the front and party in the back' and meant it!!!
With absolutely no irony.
Excuse me, People Magazine, but have you met Jason Momoa???
 |
| Sexiest Man Alive. Because that is a BRAID, not a MULLET. Also, because he is JASON MOMOA. And you are not, Blake Shelton! |
HAVE YOU????
Obviously not.
That headline this morning was a sign that 2017 has officially flushed itself down the toilet.
Which is fine.
But I am too tired to hold my breath for 6 weeks.
So, ya'll better get your shit in order right quick.
Cheers, and now I am caught up with no sign of Ryan Gosling.
Because. Jason. Fucking. Momoa.
No comments:
Post a Comment