Words About Ideas About What's Next

There is this writing experiment I am doing.


It is actually causing some major evaluating of my life.

All Mary's are wise and profound..it's axiomatic!

I can't help but notice that I am having more ideas - a project I have been hacking away at for years is now swimming right along.

It feels good.  To find paths where there were none.  To find words and ways where there was only self-doubt and roadblocks.

Also, I have started noticing things.  Little things, but they have made me sit up and take notice and review where I am and what I am doing with my time.

I work.  I have a job.  It is neither career nor calling, though I honestly felt I was going to do some good when I started it a year ago. 

I don't feel that way anymore, and I would desperately love to be doing something that makes a difference in this world.

Punching a clock, logging 40, dotting the 'i's' and crossing the 't's', or vice versa, is not enough.

Not by a long shot.

Every day, after reading as many blog posts as I have time for, I fall asleep thinking about what I really want to do with the rest of my life.  I can tell you right now, that what I am currently doing is not it.


I read all these tales on #500WordsADay and they make me want to do more...to be more, actually. 

Such as:

I have always wanted to do yoga; always.  I went to yoga, like, 5 times with my sister, and I hated it.  Well, actually, I liked some of it, but because I was friends with the yoga instructor's husband on FB, I was aware that she was a violent, crazy, chaotic person....and I couldn't relax in her studio--not a bit.

Also, I have bad wrists and a tendency to fall down.....so that didn't help in my yoga practice either.

I definitely want to be doing something that benefits other people, and not just The Man.  I feel unbelievably shallow right now, and I hope I don't sound like some vapid beauty contestant, but I really want to work with either the elderly or animals. 

Or maps.....I could do something about map awareness.

Uuuuuugggggggggghhhhh!!!  I want so badly to delete that. 

It sounds super shallow right?  I actually mean it.  I think about the elderly a lot.  I wonder what they think when they go to a restaurant and see a family not interacting, but all tied up with some device.  I wonder what they think of global warming and gun violence and reality TV.  Seriously.

I need to take a writing class because I wrote a screenplay and this agent actually cared enough to write back and tell me that I didn't have a good feel for dialogue. 

Which is interesting  given that I have more conversations than anyone.

Anyway, I am super restless.....we'll see where this goes.