Body dysmorphia is a phrase that keeps getting tossed into my (ample) lap, ever since I started this blog. I don't really think that's my problem, though. I am not "distressed" about being round -- round IS a shape, yanno---not always. Once or twice a day, maybe.
I have never had plastic surgery to correct it, I have never been bulimic or anorexic, I don't even own a girdle or Spanx or those waist whittle-thingies. Although.....in high school we had to "invent" something and present it in class, and my invention was a home liposuction kit. So maybe a bit.....
 |
| Here is a picture of a chubby puppy. Much cuter than chubby me. |
I grew up in a family of skinny, angry women, I was a happy, chubby cuddler. My grandmother, who looked like a red-headed Jayne Mansfield, fit into my favorite shirt when she came to visit the summer of my 12th year. She just smiled and took it from me, and looked 100 times better in it than I did.
My mother is 5'0 and 90 pounds. My older sister was 5'7" and 100 pounds when I was 15 years old and muscly-stocky-chunky. My family nickname was Bubblebutt. And everyone called me that--always. With love. LOVE, I tell you! (Love hurts, right? Or at least that song says it does, I wouldn't know.) This was years before JLo made the booty a coveted body part, so the nickname was neither cute nor fun to hear. And I heard it a lot.
In my natural state, I look like a snowman, Magically buoyant tits, squishy middle, and big thighs.
I have looked like that since I was about 12. Minus the boobage, those didn't show up until after my 2nd child when I was too old and parental to make any good use of them.
When I got to high school, most of the people I made friends with were naturally skinny. They also had naturally straight hair and could curl their bangs.....bitches.
I was athletic, though, so cheerleading and musical theater kept me sane during my high school years; sane but not skinny. I was looking at a picture with my best friend, both of us in our miniscule pleated skirts, and my thighs were (and still are, lucky bitch!) twice the size of hers.
As an "adult", my weight has fluctuated between 4 and 10. Those are sizes....sizes that are directly tied into my self-esteem. And I don't really know how that is even a thing.
I realize, that at 40 flippin' years old, I should be more worried about my character
(flaky/procrastinator/promiscuous when I can be), but for some reason I obsess about my weight daily.
I wish the fitness fairy would come sprinkle me with some pixie dust and give me Kate Hudson's abs.
I tell myself that if I actually lose 30 pounds, I am going to look like Fat Bastard after his Subway diet.
 |
| Chubby or Flappy? Decisions, decisions.... |
And no one wants a neck that looks like a vagina, right?
Pass the lasagna and the bread basket......
No comments:
Post a Comment