Kidding!!

So, one of my super favorite humans on this planet is my friend, S, who I have known for 19 years.

Last night, we had a 90 minute catch-up-on-everything conversation.  I don't normally do phone conversations, but this one was a doozy.


I think some of you remember when I decided to try online dating.....


I didn't get past the 'decide', due to being freaked out by all the random and crazy screen names, and the plethora of names that involved '69', 'lil', 'baby', and 'shy'....

S, however, decided to do online dating (see the difference?  Yoda certainly does.....).

She posted some recent, truthful pictures, wrote a hilarious, painfully honest list of musts and must-nots, and let rip.  *Note; 'well-endowed' was one of her prereqs, and she said it worked out pretty nicely for her!*   She got about 400 responses the first weekend.

She went on dozens of dates, hooked up a few (hundred) times, and ended up in a relationship, which is one of the things she said she wasn't all that interested in. 

(Kidding about the number of hookups.  Barely. That was a joke as well.....but she did get some action, lucky bitch!)

This made me think a bit......I am constantly trying to evaluate whether I should have a boyfriend or not....

Pros:  

• Not the only person over 18 that is single when we do family things.
• Regular sex.
• Ummmm...........................

Cons:  

• Have to wax/thread/pluck/shave more often.
• Have to talk on the phone or answer texts, even if I don't want to.
• Have to compromise.  (I seem to remember that being an issue in my last relationship(s) going back forever)
•  Have to leave the house to do things in public more often than I would like.
•  Probably have to meet his friends and family, even if I just want to stay home and watch Alan Rickman movies.
• Regular sex. (kidding!)

I guess I would have to get in shape, too.  I mean, sure my FWB doesn't mind that I am a chunky monkey, but don't boyfriend's prefer flat abs?  I don't remember....

All I remember of my last relationship is how I literally, literally, could not stand one thing about him.  His face, his walk, his voice, his everything.....And every time I looked at him, wishing he would hit his head and get amnesia and never call/text/talk/visit/sleep with me again, I also had to look at myself and ask how I could be so stupid as to get into a relationship with such a moron---what did that make me?

Anyway, S and I decided that, in early May, she is going to choose a screen name for me, write me a stellar dating profile, upload some artfully airbrushed photos (kidding!), and find me a boyfriend.

Will it work?  Not sure?

Do I care if it doesn't?  Not sure.

I will probably get some amazing blog material, maybe get some amazing first dates (ha! as if!), and possibly some amazing..........never mind.

All I care about is that it's not 'LilShyGuyPDX69' barkin' up my tree; I'll be ok with whatever happens.

As long as he is well endowed.

Kidding!!