10 Unexpected Things About Me - Day 23 - 30 Day Blog Challenge

10 Things About You People Don't Really Expect

 

 

 

Ugh!!!  This blog challenge is murdering my brain!!

 

Look, I have pretty much already over-shared here, and I honestly don't know, or care much, really, what the average person thinks about me.  Therefore, I am not qualified to list things that most people wouldn't expect of me.  Also, I am sure this is going to bore the pants off some of you. 




If that happens, send me pictures, ok?

 

 

This could get super boring, but I will try to spice it up for you guys......Remember waaaay back when....I told you guys I wasn't going to talk about masturbating?  I might have to change that....But before you get all freaked out about it, I can promise it won't be graphic.

 

 

If any of you are disappointed by that, I bet I can get you to stay anyway....because I am going to talk about porn and boobs as well.

 

 

So, without further ado (because, frankly, I probably could not cram any more 'ado' into this intro), here are 10 things about me that people don't really expect about me.

 

 

1.  I am actually a bit shy.....or reserved.  Or introverted.  Or whatever word means that one feels awkward and tries to fade into the background when one is first introduced to a person, group, or setting.  I have had people tell me they thought I was a snob when they first met me, simply because I was so quiet, they assumed I was snubbing them.  I am shy until I get comfortable, and then--as most of you are WELL aware--you simply can NOT shut me up.  So, no one thinks I am shy...and I always get, "You? Shy?? Get outta here!".  Then I punch them in the mouth, blush, and go back in my corner.

But not really little.

2.  Public speaking is my number one least-feared thing, and if I could make my living speaking to rooms full of attentive listeners, I would do it in a second.  Sadly, I am too funny-looking and rude to be a motivational speaker or guest lecturer--all that bad language coming from a little meatball!!--so I just settle for the moments I can finagle my way into getting up in front of a captive audience and start rambling!  I love it!!

This is my secret husband Chester Bennington, but I wish it was me!

3.  Reading the 2 previous posts makes me look bipolar....And I am okay with that...A*hole.  Actually, #3 is that --for someone with lots of strong opinions, that I love to share-- I can NEVER make up my mind.  I always order last when at restaurants, because I can't make up my mind unless I am under pressure.  Dithering, prevaricating, and being wishy-washy (and sometimes flaky--urgh!) are all part of the magic and mayhem that is me.




Happens all the time!

4.  I am a huge sap...but it's a giant secret.  I have had friends, family members, and boyfriends---especially boyfriends---tell me I am cold, unfeeling, unemotional, dead inside, an Ice Princess, etc, etc, ad nauseum....yawn....I know I can be tough, and I definitely do not like getting super close to people emotionally, but it is because I am a giant, smushy, emotional mushball and I am afraid of people finding out.....It is not something I am proud of, but I will continue to pretend to be tougher than all of you forever.  So there.

However.....I DEFY ANY OF YOU TO WATCH THIS AND NOT GET THE TINIEST BIT MISTY-EYED!!!


 



This KILLS me!!



Also, this:

 

 

I heart trees!!

 

 



And if you laugh at me or tease me about this, I will totally kick your ass with Kung Foo.

 

 

 

 

 

5.  I don't drink hard alcohol.....unless I am drunk.  As someone that talks about drinking and being drunk as much as I do, one would expect that I hit the sauce often and hard--but that is not the case.  Liquor makes me sick.  So I stick to beer and wine.  In massive amounts.  For breakfast.  You know, because alcoholism.

 

 

Little bit.....

 

 

 

6.  This is the most annoying blog post I have ever written.  More annoying than writing about dating.  More annoying than writing about NOT dating.   Even more annoying than writing something that really meant something to me, and having it be the blog no one read because I wrote it and hid it  because I did not want certain people to notice that I wrote it.... I don't need the backlash and drama that would result.

 

 

 

7.  I am sooooooooooooo damn glad I am almost done.  Does that surprise you, since I usually love talking about myself? 

 

 

 

 

 

8.  About 6 years ago, I had to make a pact with the little sister I raised that I would not date anyone more than 5 years younger than me, because it freaked her out that I might possibly end up dating or shopping with one of her friends from high school or something.  And since then, my dating life has been in a total slump......Sooooo, which way to CougarTown, guys????

 

 

Ann?  You coming???

 

 

 

 

9. I am a huge geek.  Star Wars, string theory, quantum foam....I write code and read old  dictionaries for fun, read as much of everything else as I can, and can change the subject from purses and kids to Game of Thrones, Tudor history, WW II or Vietnam in less time it takes the Millenium Falcon to make the Kessel Run. (That is less than 12 standard timeparts -- NOT parsecs, by the way!)

 

 

Woooo-hooooo!!!!

 

 

10.  I like to make stuff up.  So, earlier, when I said I was going to talk about masturbation and porn....well, that was made up.  Sorry 'bout that, but COME ON!!!   Surely you know me better than that by now?  If you want  some masturbating and porn....well, you are on the internet, fool, go get some!!

 

 

THIS is a Porn Star.  With big boobs.  And she looks like she is about to masturbate.  Boom, bitches!! Done.
 

 

 

 

I'm off to bed!!

 

 

 

With THIS GUY!!!

 

 

  

 



Okay, with this guy.  Whatever.

 

 

 

'Night!!