Something That Never Fails To Make You Feel Better
So, I have been AWOL for a bit on this thing....due entirely to me almost opening my sister's boyfriend's trunk, but slamming it shut in case there was a dead body in there (more on that another time!), and then to me walking by a McDonalds and hearing a baby cry from the play area (more on that later as well!). Both incidents left me with amazing ideas--one for a short story, and one for what is looking like an actual novel---yippeeee!!
Back to this blog, though.....
So, there is absolutely ONE thing that has helped me to cope with the various trials and tribulations of my life, ONE thing that has been able to elevate my mood, my mind, and my soul during any and every self-imposed crisis, and ONE thing that I simply cannot function without.
Music.
Kind of anti-climactic, no?
Perhaps you were expecting me to say religion...family...my children....friends....a sense of purpose, maybe?
Nope. Music. That is not to discount any of the above influences; they have all helped me cope and shaped my consciousness in one way or another throughout my chaotic life, but music was there before all that. And it still is...
When I was young, living on The Ridge, dirt-poor, and dreaming about bigger and better things, I would turn the radio on and be transported.
The soundtrack of my childhood is rather diverse. There was a lot of Beatles, Eagles, Stones, Creedence, and a bunch of other stuff that you probably saw on a Freedom Rock commercial in the '80's.
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| You either know this or you don't !!! |
All of those songs can easily transport me to my childhood and leave me feeling excited, scared, happy, nostaligic, or otherwise sentimental.....except one:
THIS SHIT
The first time I heard this song, I realized that I, as a being, would eventually die, the world would move on, and my life might possibly mean nothing to anyone except the people that knew me, who would then die themselves....this song gave me my first glimpse of mortality, and also planted a seed in my heart that made me want to do or be something beyond this fragile, mortal creature I was....That song made me want to get up off the couch and BE something larger than the Smurfs and GI Joe cartoons I was watching...I wanted to go out and make my mark that would ensure me immortality in the eyes of the world. I was about Six. Fucking. Years. Old. Imagine the peaceful childhood I had after digesting THAT!!
Time rolled on, though, and like all of us, I let thoughts of mortality slip to the wayside as I dreamed of other things....luckily for me, there was this totally rad invention called MTV --it is a cable station that used to show music videos 24/7 (hence the moniker "Music TeleVision)-- as opposed to the hot mess of slutty teenagers being bad parents and lame "reality" shows it is today.
Watching MTV gave me a window out into the greater world. There were all these fabulous people, dancing in the streets, moonwalking, being total freaks climbing out of the tub, writhing around on gondolas in Venice, and being DURAN DURAN!!!!!
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| Always |
My child hood was a hot mess, and not really something I like to even think about (besides the time I spent in school---thank you Ken, Ralph, Jenny, Sam, and Ginny!!!!), but every time I was down, I would turn on my boombox, twist the dial to 102.5 and escape. Yes, I danced around my room in ridiculous outfits, yes, I sang (sooooo horribly off key--still do, actually), and yes, I got the hell out of my miserable existence and was a friggin' STAR every day!
As a teengager (read; walking blob of quasi-psychotic hormones), music connected me to my friends, helped me escape an increasingly miserable home life, and provided a soundtrack for all of the loving, lustful, wild, rebellious, and ill-conceived (Boyz II Men, anyone??) activities of "The Best Years of [my] Life.....So Far" (Holla, NUHS!). When I think about those 4 years, I can actually hear a soundtrack marking my passage through those days......Depeche Mode and The Eagles will always belong to the Three Bimbos (that would be Sara, Nicole, and I--Three Virgins would be a more apt description, tho!)...Vanilla Ice and "Ninja Rap" and "Groove is in The Heart" ("Push It" as well...right Nicole?) belongs to my soul sisters on NU Cheer.....etc., etc., etc....
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| My girls...20 years after you all saved my life! xoxo |
Nirvana came along and shook me out of my glam-rock, Poison-GnR-Def Leppard Aqua-Net daydreams, and ushered in a whole new era of noise....
Every phase in my life has a soundtrack....No Doubt, Bush, Tupac, CHer and Celine Dion (always you, Mikey!), the millennium teen popstars, and then the 2000's in which, it seemed, anything would pass as music.....if you will recall, that walking STD Paris Hilton even released an album then!
Music is constantly growing, changing, and evolving---much like us---sometimes DE-volving to utter shite---Kanye West, anyone?? Anyone?? Didn't think so.
Music is so personal, so intense in how certain genres speak to certain people or times in your life, that it is hard to say, "Oh, THIS is my favorite". Because it is all my favorite, except Kanye. Black Keys, Black Sabbath, Green Day, Blue Oyster Cult, The Purple One (that's Prince to you knobs that don't get that)....Much like a favorite color, our favorite music and favorite bands can easily be read to mean something about us.....
Maybe that's true, maybe that's not, all I know is that, if I could not lsten to music, I would probably be in a cozy padded room in a "huggy-coat".
But, instead, I am over here drinking wine, listening to Ed Sheeran, and talking to this guy....
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