The Longing Deep Down

So, am still 530 words behind if I get to 500 today.

I've written thousands of words today between writing on the Book, writing my financial narratives, emails, letters, etc.

Do any of you remember when "they" said we would be paperless and save allllll the trees?

 

I go through reams and reams of paper daily, weekly, and monthly despite all of the online and digital correspondence.

Do you ever think about the difference between how you thought life would be at a certain point and how it actually is?

 

The Digital Revolution was supposed to save trees, but our paperwork has expanded from 8 pages in 1995 to 56 in 2021.

 

Progress was supposed to give us more time, but the average housewife spends as much time cleaning her house today as she did in the 50s, despite gadgets and machines.

 

I wonder if "progress" is even a thing.

 

I will address this when I discuss "Civilized to Death" in my "Mary's Book Club" post on Thursday.

 

I am reading a book called The Book of Longings right now.

It is "historical fiction", which I loathe.  (The Other Boleyn Girl is a fucking travesty and should in no way ever be read by humans, like, Hank 8's story has been told so often we don't need some "Twilight" version of his disastrous marriage to AB)

I had a hard time getting into this book, but now I am hooked.

 

I don't think I am hooked because of the historical aspect.

I don't think I am hooked because of the (barf) romantic aspect of it.

I don't think I am hooked on the religious aspect of it.

 

I think the hook with this story is the idea of longings.

 

Like, who doesn't long for things?

 I long for things all day every day.

I long for sleep.

I long for a quiet mind because my fucking monkey brain never shuts up and I am always replaying actions, ideas, and events; as if thinking about them can change them.

 

I am full of longings for things I don't have.

Peace.

Quiet.

8 hours of sleep.

I am definitely full of longings.

I want my river.

I want my dog.

I want my LD.

So this book, with a frustrated writer that is full of longings is speaking to me right now.

 

You know what else is speaking to me?

You know what I want right this second?

 

I want biscuits and gravy.

I want mashed potatoes and turkey gravy.

I want to hug 66.

I want to put my tap shoes on and dance for another hour.

I want to finish the Book.

I want to go to Taco Tuesday with my friends and eat nachos and mozz sticks because Charlie's has the worst tacos - but the best pool tables - in town.

I want to play Cards Against Humanity with my friends in person.

I am filled with longings from dawn to dusk and I feel like this is not even a bad thing.

I feel like I should let them run and see where they take me.  

Especially that longing for biscuits and gravy.

I mean…am I wrong?

 

 

Speaking of longing...