The internet is a beautiful, magical place, and I’m super happy that Al Gore and Julia Child invented it back in the olden days, because I get to watch funny pet videos, Charlie The Unicorn on repeat, and GTS out of any and every thing that strikes my fancy at random times of the day. Also, free porn.
Kidding!
Maybe.
What I don’t like about the World Wide Web is the proliferation of atrocious spelling and stupid phrases.
'N' is not a word, guys, okay?? It is AND….if you ...are too effing lazy to type the A and the D, then toss an ampersand in there and have done with it.
But, seriously, please quit writing garbage like,
“I am so hurt n sad, my BF left me.”
No shit?
Maybe he left you for someone that isn’t TWO lazy TOO write the A AND the D! Seriously. Barf.
If you don’t see what I did in that last sentence, well, I hope you have a good day & stuff like that, but go away. Please.
I could ‘prolly’ go on n on, lolz, but then I might puke on the keyboard, and I couldn’t finish talking about the other stuff you people do on the internet that makes me want to ROTFLHATOMY. (Roll On The Floor Laughing Hysterically And Tearing Out My Hair.)
Cutesy internet phrases are solely responsible for the dumbing down of today’s youth. Remember when the word ‘epic’ replaced every other adjective in the world?
Picture of you base jumping?
Epic.
Picture of your dinner?
Epic.
Selfie in front of sunset at Grand Canyon (you know, the one you ignored THE DAMNED SUNSET to take 17000 pics in front of til you found one you liked enough to post??!?)
Totally. Epic. Dude.
Someone please punch me in the eyeball!!
Not gonna lie, ya’ll, I know I have typed “Bye, Felicia” somewhere online at some point, so this may make me appear a hypocrite, but COME ON!!!
Is every damn person in your life your “bae”?? Because if so, you might be a ho, as well as being unoriginal as f*@k.
So, this may be a not so nice post for many of you to wake up to, and that is probably my fault for sitting down at the computer before I have had any coffee, but for the love of Pete, sometimes I go online and I want to start anonymously mailing dictionaries and encyclopedias all over the world.
Yes, I know, who reads ‘books’ anymore, right? I do, thanks, and when I write one, every last one of you people on my friends list are getting one (some of you will be getting a thesaurus as well, haha). I LOVE books, and I would rather read the phone book than use a Kindle.
Anyway, I have said enough for today, I am sure. Be good, guys, and remember—that squiggly red line under your words means you are doing something wrong.
Think about it.
1 comment:
Perfect!
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