Enough is Enough. I. Give. Up. An Ode To Walking Away.

 

 

Helllloooooooo, there!

Yes, yes, I am back.  If you will notice, there was no "Day-Who-Gives-A-Fuck" title on my post.  The reason for that, if you haven't already guessed is that I gave up on that 30 Day Blog Challenge.

Now before anyone starts quoting Vince Lombardi at me....shut the fuck up before I throw a shoe at you. 

Or do this.....

I had perfectly good reason for quitting and it is this:


It was pissing me off.


And, yes, I know all the bullshit platitudes people like to mouth about quitting;  I get it.  But that only applies to quitting ignorant, destructive, or lazy behaviors.  It only applies if you are Thomas Edison, inventing shit that will revolutionize the damned world.  It only applies of you are an athlete, an author, or someone that is chasing a dream.



Except when quitting makes you win....

It certainly did not apply to me in regards to that 30-day blog challenge, and here is why:


I can only tell you guys my thoughts, my truths, and my stories.  I did tell ya'll the Story of the Three Bimbos; it wasn't entirely my story, so I used initials.  I also knew that the people the story was about would probably not mind.  Because it is a friggin' love story.

I can't tell you the stories that are not mine because it isn't fair, and it isn't right, and it could induce a motherfucker to up and sue me after I am famous and on the Today Show talking about how I wrote a hilarious screenplay and made sure there was a make-out scene between me and Ryan Gosling in it.



You will notice that I went flying through January, posting frequently and churning out posts like buttah.  All of a sudden....

Big. Huge. Gap.

 


The reason for that, was that I had to write a blog post about something that did not just involve me, but family members.  And it did not exactly portray everyone in the best light.  So, yeah, I struggled, prevaricated, edited, deleted, changed the 'angle', etc.  Eventually, though, I wrote it.  (And, I can assure you all, as soon as I can get someone from CAA, ICM, or WME to offer me a contract, that damn post is coming right down, because my family would have no qualms about taking me to court and asking for my money.  Fa realz.)  Then I wrote a few more.  Until....

Big. Huge. Gap.

 

 

Another post that wanted me to talk to, and thus reveal things about, people who are not me.  I decided to skip it, and re-visit it later.  The next post asked for the same thing.  And so did the next one.  So, I went and wrote other stuff and told myself, in the words of the magnificent Scarlett O'Hara

But I missed this blog.  And, apparently, some of you did as well which I totally appreciate.  BIG HUG.



I kept trying and trying and every time I sat down and logged in here, I got annoyed and stressed out.  So I logged back out and wrote something else.



During that time, something similar was happening in another area of my life.  You see, in January I took a part-time job.  The job paid enough that I could live comfortably and still have time to so some volunteer work and get a little more involved at Lexi's school.  After 3 days, part-time turned to full-time-plus-a-bit-more, and the nature of the job changed, and the fun level went down.  Weeks ticked by where, every morning, I though, "UGH!  I just do NOT want to go to work!".  Those of you that know me know how much I usually love my job, and how I spend too much time at work, and always have more fun than anyone at work.  This job was not like that.  Not one fucking bit.

Every. Day.

I stayed because I told myself it would get better, the job would be more fun, and because I kept hearing about these exciting new changes that were on the horizon.  Still, every day I had to force myself to go there.  Once I got there, I would have some fun, there were a handful of totally amazing people that I loved seeing and talking to every day.  But the job itself?  It sucked, and it was impossible to get anything done because there were no rules, no policies, no procedures, and my boss exhibited some behaviors that made me want to spike the water cooler with Xanax so she could be the same person for 8 straight hours.  For real.  I told myself, 'Wait until your 90-day review. Then you can talk about your job tasks, your hours, and the money you are(n't) making.' (I took the job for an acceptable amount of money for part-time work--not what I am worth!)



Finally, I thought about it and realized, why shouldn't I quit?  I have let people go when I felt they weren't a good fit, and these guys certainly would have let me go if I wasn't as completely awesome as I, in fact, am; so why should I stay?  I hated that job....

Would rather have done this.  

Putting in my 2-week notice made me feel like I had lost about 20 pounds (I wish!).  I started getting super excited about my new job and thinking about decorating my office and all the fun things we could get done there--which is exactly how you want to feel about your job, right?

Same thing with the Blog Challenge.  I can't tell stories or reveal details about other people's lives, especially if it makes them look like the totally phony, sanctimonious, criminally egotistical jerkoffs they are.  I can't tell you what the worst thing I have ever done to another person, because it would involve me telling you someone else's story and putting their life on display in a way they never signed up for.  So I said to myself, 'Fuck it!  I'm done with it, I am going to write what I want to write.', and **boom!** here I am, fingers flying over the keyboard totally stoked about writing this super-fun blog!

C'est moi!

As I was looking for quotes about 'quitting', and trying to find funny things to say about it, I started thinking about things we don't quit, things we do quit, and what causes us to refuse to walk away from things that no longer benefit us. 

I know people (I was one of those for two whole years, so no judgies, kids!) who will keep trying and trying and trying to make a relationship work because they 'love' that person, or they love the person's kids, or they can't accept that that they have spent years of their life with the wrong person.  I just don't get that.  I mean, I did that, but as soon as I made the decision to bail, I was like "Wooooo-hooooooo!", and I skipped off into the sunset. 

Bye, fucker!

I know people that smoked and smoked and smoked a million cigarettes until the day they decided to quit and *poof* they quit.  Said it was the best thing they ever did.  They never felt better.  Had no desire to ever smoke again.  I also know people that quit every month or so, get crabby and gain 10 pounds, then go out and cram an entire pack of cigarettes in their mouths, set it on fire, and just iiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaalllleeee.  (Don't effing judge me!)

All better!

I can use the same type of examples for people who can and can't quit drinking, drugging, smacking their spouses or children around, yet I really don't know what separates the people that can quit from the people that can't. 
It's not intelligence. 
Not entirely willpower. 
So, what is it?
For me, it was just enough.  E Fucking. Nough. 

So, maybe that's all it is.  Just finally getting to the point where you say 'My happiness is worth more than this.  I am worth more than this.  I'm out.  I quit.'


Let me tell you, it feels gooooooood!!


Probably not as good as this:

*sigh*

 



But you can't have everything, now can you?







Ya'll come back now, ya hear?



Stay tuned, ya'll, tomorrow I am going to be writing about how social media--Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and YES, blogging has turned everyone into fucking morons.  Also, I will be talking about being naked.

I will tell you all about it tomorrow!