30 Day Challenge - Day 11 Being Single

Your Current Relationship-If Single, Discuss 
How Single Life Is

Sums it up quite nicely!

So, yeah...I am single.  Clearly.  

Being single in your 30s, especially when they are about to become your 40s at any. fucking. second.  is a little tricky.  I am single for a handful of reasons, or so I tell myself.  They are as follows:

1.  I don't trust myself.  After wasting two ENTIRE years of my life in the lamest relationship in the world , I actually don't trust myself, or any judgements I have when it comes to people I might see as "dateable".  I will probably end up being that dirty old lady that lays out by her pool all day in a leopard-print bikini, showing miles of tanned, wrinkly skin, sipping a cocktail at 11am, and copping a feel if the pool boy gets a little too close.  I am okay with that....as long as the pool boy looks like Ryan Gosling.  Or Matt Damon.  Whatever...I'm not that picky.

It would be worth it....

2.  Little Roo.  My daughter has an excellent relationship with her father, so I don't need to be out running around trying to find a 'Baby Daddy'; my little girl has an excellent one, thanyouverymuch.  Also, I have more free time to try to find ways to win arguments with her or get one over on her when I am single.  (That actually takes up a lot of my free time!)

 

3.  The word 'compromise' is not in my vocabulary.  I am not interested in sharing anything with anyone right now, besides my nutty family. I also have ZERO tolerance for bullshit, which sorta narrows the dating field a teensy bit!

4.     This.

Seriously.  Single because Ryan Gosling.  Totally. Legit.

5.  I sure as hell have no desire to be married.  Again, I totally approve of other people's marriages, and support the decision people make to spend the rest of their lives with each other, but that is really not my thing.  Unless, of course, your name is Ryan Gosling, in which case.....I DO!!  I'm not really sure what I have against that particular institution, but I can't ever see myself voluntarily checking into it again.....drunken weddings in Vegas don't count, right??

If her apron was a bit cooler, this could be me!

 So, what is single life like?  Totally awesome, of course!

A) I get to sleep with whomever I want.   Translation:  I wake up with Roo's elbows, feet (urgh!), or hair in my face on a regular basis.

B) I get to do whatever I want.  Translation:  I have tons of free time to do the stuff Roo tells me to do.  Immediately.

 C) I don't worry about trying to impress someone.  Translation:  Haven't shaved my legs in 2 weeks.  Winning!

I actually don't mind being single....I was a serial-dater for about...oh, forever; and then I did the whole crash-and-burn thing with numb-nuts, so a break is a good thing.  Also, I can't imagine bringing any guys that I approve of into Roo's life right now....she has a little too much going on for me to be distracted by trying to be a girlfriend/partner/whatever the hell you call an old lady dating.  So, I have decided it's perfectly ok to do the whole 'random-crushes-on-inappropriate-people', combined with 'friends-with-benefits' until Roo is older, and I am (hopefully) wiser.

I think my life is more interesting when I am single.  I write more, I take better care of myself, and I am definitely a more engaged mom. 

I am sure that I will, eventually, start dating again, but until that happens, I will just keep doing what I am doing...being content...being Mom...being Mary.

That's the best I can do right now, and I think it's good enough.

Unless I was doing THIS...which is WAY better than 'good enough'.

 Cheers!

Day 6 - 30 Day Challenge

The Person You Like and Why You Like Them

Seriously, 30 Day Ultimate Blog Challenge?  What am I, fourteen?

I am assuming this topic is referring to, you know, "like" like, and not just one person out of the billions I am merely "fond" of, due to the fact that it says "THE person you like" and not "A person you like".

I am writing this blog under duress, protest, and any other word that makes it clear that I am dragging my feet and kicking and screaming all the way to the keyboard; because I am an adult, and this topic makes me feel like I should go measure my boobs and weigh myself.  Because those are things I did when I was 14.
 

This was the person this blog would have been about if it was 1989.  Yes, I am old.  Piss off!!

So, here we go.  This is supremely difficult because I like my life the way it is, and I do not want to be humiliated next time I see these people, just in case other people I know point this post out to them.. (Which, given the circle of hooligans I know, is entirely possible!)

And, yes, I did say 'them'.  I already warned you guys I had trampy tendencies, so it should come as no surprise to you that there are two 'the person's', and not just one.

Like #1.  About 9 months ago, I met this person and I was kind of like, 'Oh, he's cute'.  However, he was absolutely not someone that I could have dated for about 48,000 different reasons.  All of those reasons aside, this person continued to grow on me.  Like, every time I saw him, I got little butterflies in my stomach and reverted to a socially awkward, completely dorky 14 year old.  So, he got a lot of monosyllabic questions/answers out of me, and I spent a lot of time staring at him when he wasn't paying attention - stalker! 
One time, he happened to be right near a bathroom that I kind of needed to use, but I could not bear for him to know I was using the bathroom, and, by the time he left, I wasn't sure if I was going to faint, puke, or just piss myself---that's how bad I had to go!  The 'thing' about this guy is the following:

a) SUPER SMART
b) Handsome
c) Totally sarcastic
d) Hilarious
e) Snarky, grumpy, and cantankerous
f) Wears square black nerdy glasses
g) Kind of socially awkward.

Like this guy, but a bit more smokin hot!

Not really sure what else I can say about him, those qualities just kinda did it for me.  You guys all already know how I feel about geeky guys, so it shouldn't be surprising that this dude I had the biggest, hugest, most unrequited, unspoken, unbearable crush on for roughly 9 months (and counting) is kind of a huge dork.  But a super adorable one....But, the fact is, the crush I had on this guy ('crush' is childish, but so am I, and so is this topic!), was exactly like the ones you get when you are young and don't know what you are doing when it comes to guys.  My heart jumped in my chest every time I saw him, I looked for excuses to make conversations with him so that I could stare at and talk to him, and I totally thought about him all the time--still do--again, stalker!  I have very specific reasons for not even trying to open that can of worms, but I think part of me will always wonder what could have happened there if I had made even a tiny step in that direction---probably rejection, humiliation, and a crushed ego, but who knows? 

 Like #2.  This guy.  Hmmmmmm....he is going to be the subject of another blog post after the Challenge is over, because I think I am still kind of processing the effect this person has had on my life.  I met him 7 years ago, and we dated for a bit.  It, clearly, did not work out - we are super different - but we still talk every now and then, and by 'talk' I mean 'go shopping' together', and by 'shopping' I mean....well, I think you guys know how that goes.  The thing about this guy is that he is not my type in any sort of way, except he is smart.  And funny. And hot.  And he has a bunch of nicknames that I call him when I discuss him with my friends, due to his prowess at, er, shopping.  So, yeah, not at all my type.....
The thing is, right after we started dating and realized we both liked each other a teeny tiny bit, he left town for 3 months, and only came back every 4 weeks.  Now, you all know how separation and phone sex can fan a tiny ember into a huge bonfire, and that's basically what happened.  I remember waiting for him at the airport and, like, actual sweat rolling down my forehead because I was so excited to see him.  (Gross, I know.  Obviously, I wiped it off and got my ass under control, but you get the point!)  So, while we had this whole 'long distance 'affaire de coeur' thing going on, it definitely added an element to the relationship that might not have been there had he kept his fine ass in town long enough for us to get to know each other.  He told me once, "I don't know if I love you, or if I love the idea of you", and it was like he had read my mind.  That was pretty much how I was feeling about him, but had no idea how to express it.  

So, now, we have this  kinda funny relationship where we talk, shop occasionally, and we sometimes offer each other unsolicited advice on our love lives.  I have yelled at him for letting people be mean to him, or for him not being nice enough to his girlfriend, he laughed at me and basically called me a retard for moving in with the biggest idiot I ever dated.  I will admit to getting super excited when I know I am going to see him, and I am totally comfortable enough to talk to him about stuff---I told him about "Like #1" and he just kind of laughed at me for being all emotional and squishy-hearted about someone and never even telling them about it.  He listens to me talk about my crazy family, and he usually has some snarky bit insightful comment to make that makes me want to punch him...and sometimes I do punch him.  He is someone I could never date, especially since I know he is unfaithful sometimes (more on that tomorrow, but my friend Veronica has something to say about it today!), but I can't honestly say, "Oh, all he is to me is a friend that I talk to and go shopping with", because he definitely means more to me than that, but I really can't define it.  Definitely not love, so I guess he is stuck being labelled 'Like #2'.

Pretty much the theme of our friendship.

So, there you have it!  This one is squeaking in just 1 minute under the wire to actually be posted on Day 6, but again, it's hard to be this honest with however many of you are actually reading this....


Closing note - I decided to listen to Duran Duran the whole time I was writing this, as it helped me with the whole'smushy feelings' thing, and then I looked for some more pics of Simon to see if there were any hotter than the first one.  Here's what I found, enjoy!!

I totally would have shopped with this guy back in the day!  Still would!!

Cheers!