Like...
DUH.
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| Alas! |
I replied enthusiastically, got a weak counteroffer as a reply, and was prepared to let the whole matter drop until......
Well, read for yourself, let's just say I was a little hangry this morning.
Dear Austin,
I am not entirely sure you are a person or if, perhaps, you are a bot shooting insincere offers of breakfast burritos out to an unsuspecting populace. Regardless, you need to be informed that offering breakfast burritos with no intention of delivering said
tortilla-wrapped deliciousness is not very comme il faut.
I replied to your rather bizarre, but oddly tempting offer, in the affirmative, albeit somewhat reluctantly. I don't need yet another sales pitch from a marketing company, but it can be argued that I do need breakfast burritos occasionally.
In addition, I found your assertion that millennials were an 'under-served' demographic rather intriguing, and was looking forward to hearing how your company would address that issue.
The response I received was somewhat perplexing -- you counter offered with coffee on Wednesday -- quite a downgrade if you ask me. I didn't reply until now, because I was convinced at that point that the original email was spam.
After a hectic morning of rescuing abandoned kittens from a dumpster in unseasonably frigid weather, my Assistant asked me about the burritos; looking, I believe, for the kind of physical and emotional pick-me-up that something as glorious as a warm breakfast
burrito could surely provide. Imagine her dismay when I informed her that your burritos were not offered in good faith! She was quite disappointed, "Austin", and I was immediately moved to write to you in response to that, as good Assistants are like gold
dust and I try to make sure mine stays happy.
In closing, I feel the need to inform you. "Austin", that offering breakfast burritos to potential clients and then using coffee as the 'switch' is bad form. Not only does it besmirch your company's reputation (A***O will always be synonymous with dodgy sustenance
offers to me), but think of all of the poor millennials that will continue to be "under-served" because I don't know how to reach out to them. Perhaps in the future you, or the person that created the email to spam out will be more careful with what you offer.
Good day,
If that offer was genuine, the poor dude won't know what hit him, and rightfully so! False offers of food should be right up there on the criminal justice scales with disorderly conduct or disturbing the peace.
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| Me in my feelings! |
Thank heavens for Door Dash!
