Eat It

I loved Weird Al so much when I was a kid. LOVED HIM! I mean, I still do, but I don't sit around listing to his tapes on a boombox and snickering while eating Smurfberry Crunch on a Saturday morning.

BTW, I miss Smurfberry Crunch sooooo much! I reeeeaaaallllllyyy hoped some marketing genius would resurrect it when the Smurf's enjoyed a brief cinematic resurgence several years ago but - alas! - nope.

Can someone PLEEEEAASE make this a thing again?? I don't care if I am fat forever! 

Anyway, as I am titling all of my blogs with songs titles, I couldn't decide whether this post should be titles "Eat It" or "Fat", as they are 2 of my favorite Weird Al songs. 

 Fat is my favorite of the 2, only because of the verse "And my shadow weighs a-42 pounds let me tell you once again, who's fat". 

 However, I decided for this particular post, to use "Eat It" since I WAS skinny at the beginning of Day 5 of the Epic Road Trip, and we deliberately drove around to eat everything J had ever seen on TikTok.

We start the day not hung over, which is a relatively new experience for me this particular week, and it feels great. 

 D has proved himself the Best Chauffer On The Planet by having a piping hot pot of coffee brewed when we get up, and J busts out her phone to show us a series of Tiktok videos that are a roadmap of the groovy places we are going to be eating at today. 

 Step One: Downtown Disney. We hit the road, counting Jeeps the whole way, natch, and arrive in Anaheim ready to nosh. Beignets. Panko Pickle Dog. French Toast Churros. 

 

Beignets were yum!

French Toast Churros > Regular Churros all day long.

This.  Is.  Everything.  If you fed me one every day for the rest of my life, I would never ask the universe for anything again.

All were delish but...  a word about the pickle dog, if I may.

HOLY FUCK, YA'LL. 

 Okay, that was 3 words but, I MEAN! 

 Pickle, hot dog, corn-dog batter, panko, and peanut butter. 

 This thing was fucking glorious and I could have easily eaten 3 all by myself but they took, like, 4 years to cook and we had 412 other places to visit for food by 5:00 so I restrained myself. 

Incidentally, I am THE BIGGEST bird nerd ever, I frickin' love birds and could watch them do bird shit (not literal shit, BTW) for hours. 

These Downtown Disney birds, tho? 

 Fuck these birds. 

 Seriously. 

 They pretty much walked up and were like, YO, give us some of your food. And I was like, nah fam, I don't share food. And they were like, No worries you greedy bitch, you look clumsy AF so we gonna post up here until your sloppy ass gets crumbs everywhere. 

 Which they did. And I did. 

This guy and his friends were very persistent!

 Next stop: Brew Hawg BBQ. Um, yes.

We got an unsweetened, soft waffle cone stuffed with house-made mac and cheese, topped with smoked meat - I got tri-tip, but I am pretty sure the rest of our crew got pulled pork, brisket, belly, chicken, or hot links - I don't remember because I was in food ecstasy at this point.  ANYway, this was topped off with an ice-cream scoop of homemade mashed potatoes and a drizzle of BBQ sauce.  

Um, remember that pickle dog?

I don't.

LOOK AT THEM!

"Cheers!"

We decided to head to Requiem Coffee, but they were closed, so we roamed Downtown Anaheim for a while until we saw Por Vida and thought OF COURSE WE NEED TACOS, I mean - who doesn't ever?

Anyway, we ordered some chips and salsa, some pico fries, and a fried chicken taco with kale slaw and a frickin' smoked paprika Coca Cola glaze.

Did you read that right?

Did I spell that wrong? 

That is actually real, ya'll, and I offer you proof:

I love those people that are genetically incapable of eating cilantro!  MORE FOR ME!

Did you read the part about the smoked paprika Coca Cola glaze??  It was heaven!

We wandered back to Requiem Coffee, considerably heavier than we were an hour before, but in spite of the fact that they had a Monokuma Waffle cone, none of us got anything.

Instead, we headed back north and went to Krazy Cup Munchies Bar, where J and A got the KRAZIEST smoothie/slurpy/slushy/whatever, and I debated whether or not my recently-expanded-by-tacos form would conceal the life-sized Darth Vader statue, were I to attempt to smuggle it out the door.

I didn't steal the Vader, and I didn't get anything from the Lebanese bakery next door, although I did wander in and narrowly avoided drooling on the display cases as I perused their wares.

We then returned to the Disney side of the road to hit up Tortilla Joe's for guacamole and margarita flights but - in spite of Google's assurances to the contrary - they were closed.  So we walked around, Jim said hi to me, and then we decided to return to SD and see what N was up to.

Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyy, buddy!

After a lovely sunset walk on the beach and a remarkable case of brain-freeze from a $14 6-oz "Miami Vice" (half pina colada, half strawberry daiquiri) that C and I were forced to chug because "no alcohol on the beach", we returned to the Z's home and spent a little while eating, drinking excessively (DUH!) and plotting our next adventures.

*SWOON*  I frickin' love San Diego!

Which I will share with you tomorrow.

Or a month from now - who knows?

***PS - I started writing this on 8/14, hours after C and D and I rode Sisu down to Long Beach for a day of food and fun - NO drinking, although I reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallllyyy could have used a cocktail or 7 before we drove over the bridge to Astoria!! 

ANYway, when I was trying to decide between "Eat It" or "Fat" for this blog title, I decided to watch both videos for fun.  In the beginning of "Fat", one of Weird Al's homies pulls a piece of pizza out of his pocket, and I couldn't help laughing because my fat ass literally had been carrying a piece of pizza in  the pocket of my overalls for at least an hour that day -- for the crows, of course -- before I chucked it onto the beach for the seagulls.  

'Fat', indeed!  🤦‍♀️